The Daddy Perspective Episode 1

So I've been meaning to post an update sometime here but just haven't quite gathered my thoughts enough to do so. I've traveled a great many emotions since the morning Laura first told me. My immediate reaction was to shut down and try to process. This led to an instant overload and about 4 days of not sleeping. Once I finally settled down and realized it was going to be OK, I've gone from terrified to excited to confused to reassured and any manor of emotion in between. The bottom line is I am as ready as I think a person can be. Friends who have kids have told me there is no such thing as ready. My favorite quote so far is "The difference in thinking your ready and actually having a child is the same as the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing one." I'm sure I have no idea what I'm getting into, but I'm ready to find out. I've been overwhelmed at times and at other times it doesn't seem quite real yet. Two things have changed my mind on this whole process and they're quite different.

Firstly, hearing the heartbeat was one of the most incredible things I have ever experienced. There was nothing extraordinary about it. I was just sitting in a small room with my wife looking as regular as she always does and a doctor with what looks like an over sized game boy with a strange attachment. Life was just life until all of a sudden this strange swooshing sound turned me from some regular guy into a dad. All of a sudden my wife wasn't a girl I met in college, not just a cute girl I'd married, but the mother of my child. It was incredible. It's not often I tear up over things, I don't consider myself an overly emotional person, but I was absolutely overcome by what I was hearing. It was, so far, the most powerful moment of my life.

The second event wasn't quite so profound. The other event that brought me around to being ok with the idea of fatherhood was the World Cup. Stay with me here, I know that seems strange. I was watching the opening rounds of the World Cup and reading an article on the internet about the USA's bid to host the world cup in either 2018 or 2022. Innocuous enough, but a thought crossed my mind. If the States were to host in either of those years, then this child who was barely beginning to be formed would be 8 or 12 years old respectively. The thought of taking my own child hoisted up on my shoulders cheering on the red white and blue here on our own soil was the final nail. I am going to be a dad and it is going to be awesome. Sure there will be tough times. I'm sure there will be ups and downs, but I have such an incredible support system around me and such great examples of amazing parents that I'm about as optimistic as i can be.

I want to thank you all for reading and supporting Laura and I through all of this. It's a strange and scary and amazing ride. I'll update more as time goes on. Love you all.